Reading some of the things your mom has said to you gave me shivers. It’s eerie how similar our mothers are.
My Mom has radically changed her approach. Now she sends me sermons that she has written for me. She doesn’t talk about me being gay anymore. It isn’t good, but it’s kind of better.
I miss the way things used to be.
I was in the theater watching Toy Story 3 when I got this text from Mom:
Hey honey are you working? Can you call me when you have a minute?
This always makes me nervous. I asked what was wrong and she said:
Probably nothing. Just need to tell you about some test results. Very strong possibility that it’s nothing. I told Bart and wanted you to know.
Dear John,
I love you. :)
-Mom
Things are getting better.
Mom,
I embrace your new-found happiness and I am so glad that you and Dad can bond over what you have discovered together. I truly think that it will be an incredible source of joy for you in all of your years and beyond.
Dear Mom,
I’m very happy for you! It makes me smile to see that you are so happy with your new found faith. But when you say things like, “I will not rest until you two turn your lives around” it scares me. If you want to keep pushing your religious beliefs on me, I will push my beliefs back on you. And I know that both of us are obviously set in our ways and it is not going to get us anywhere.
Yes, I know this e-mail is long and you have studying to do….but this is so much more important than anything you are doing right at this moment……just read it and know that every word is coming from my heart.
In the quest to make my family perfect my parents are throwing away something beautiful. My brothers and I are great kids and we love our parents very much. We are doing well. We are healthy. It breaks my heart that what I am isn’t good enough.
My mom and dad are coming to visit me for the day tomorrow. I don’t want to give them an ultimatum, but I need to be up front with them. They can have me this way, or not at all.
I watched a movie today: “The Kids Are All Right.” It was incredible. I guess it must have hit home a little hard because I cried for like half the movie. Broken families are all too common.
Dear John,
I know you could be sending me tons of stuff that you have found on the Internet……thank you for not doing that.
Please click on this link and read one person’s story. Just one more time….and I won’t send you anything else.
There is one word that I want to leave with you Adam, it is “Ask.” Ask Jesus if this is his plan for you, ask him if there is another way. Ask him into your heart. Ask Him to show you His Glory. Ask him to be with you every minute of every day. Ask him to show you His love.
You don’t have to read this, but maybe this one story will touch your heart like it did mine.
http://michaelglatze.blogspot.com/
I know you aren’t mine….you are God’s and I am giving you over to him.
Pray the Lord’s Prayer every day….Put your name in it.
I love you.
Dear John,
Let’s not do the argument about what the Bible says about Homosexuality…instead….can you Google what Jesus said about marriage? Would that make it easier? Let’s make this simple.
Thanks for the feedback!
Sometimes it can be really hard to keep doing this. I love my family more than anything in the world, but it feels a lot like I’m walking back into a house that’s burning down to save them.
Good morning, John. Mom and I are trying to decide which church to try this morning.
I’ve been meaning to follow up our walk around the lake with a note, so here it is. My belief that homosexuality is a sin is based on two things - one is that the Bible says it is wrong several times in both the old and the new testament, and we need to follow what the Bible says.
Dear Mom,
I’m not angry with you mom! Please don’t read my messages that way. That’s why I hate sending messages like this. You can never tell how the other person is talking. I’m not saying anything in anger. I do get frustrated sometimes, which I bet you probably understand.
Whenever I am nervous or anxious or worried about anything, I pray and God melts all my fear away. Every day he does this for me. Cast all your anxiety, your doubt, put it on him and you will have nothing to be afraid of. There are no monsters in the dark. Only God is there beside you.
Dear John,
Please don’t take a stand against us. Please soften your heart.
Really, this is not about how it makes me feel. Well, maybe it is……What it makes me feel, if you must know, is that we will lose you. You will lose yourself. If you really want to know how it feels to me, it feels very dark. You make me feel scared. You make me shake. Yes, I am shaking and my heart is pounding with fear.
Dear Mom,
When was I ever treated in this way? I have never felt insecure in my masculinity or even poor at sports. I just don’t really enjoy watching them on TV. I always played football with the neighborhood gang and was often among those picked first to play. My friends in elementary school were always the tough kids. You remember them. Why do you let these articles about gay people cloud your view of me?
Dear John,
“However, the most common early life disappointments leading to homosexual desires is the result of peer rejections because of a boy’s poor eye-hand and athletic coordination. This is a very difficult weakness to have in a culture that is obsessed with successful athletic performance to the point where it is seen as the major measure of masculinity. Children who are not athletically coordinated are regularly the last to be chosen to join teams and are often the victims of rejection and ridicule. They are referred to regularly in a feminine manner through the use of such painful names as sissy, fairy, and queer. Also, they may be told that they run or act like a girl.
Dear John,
Proverbs 23:7 reads: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (I like this one!)
http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/narth/1995papers/worthen.html
Just read this…ok? Please. I keep seeing the same story over and over…people who have been in the gay lifestyle for a long time, want out.
Dear John,
Ok, one more thing….we love you. We are here for you. We want to help you. You have the power to cast this out from you.
If you say you were born into this…well welcome to the club…we were all born in sin. It’s what we do with it that makes us Christians. Your sin is no worse then my many sins. Every day I need help with my sins. I can’t do it alone.
Fighting this will be awful and amazing. Lots of tears. Lots of pain. Lots of happiness. Lots of blessings.
Dear John,
My Dear John, I am going to write to you when I feel like you might listen… The more I study this, the more I pray about it, the more I think about, the more that I know I have to keep talking to you. I woke up this morning thinking about how hurt I was that you would not come to us when you were questioning this, that you would tell your friends before you would tell us. This just means that you were afraid that we would try to talk you out of this or try to get you help. You didn’t want to be talked out of this…you wanted this. You showed us disrespect and did not come to us, you went to everyone else…why? You went to everyone else because you knew that they would think this was cool. They would help you on this path. They would confirm that this was right. This almost hurts more then anything else. You knew this was wrong…..very wrong and yet you are seeking to make it right. Please go back to when you were questioning this and see why you were doing that. God was telling you it was wrong.
Dear John,
I will not rest, I will not stop praying, I will not stop fighting, I will protect you, I will love you, I will do everything in my power to help you….but I can not make you change your ways. Jesus can and you can. That is the bottom line. We have to have faith and wehave to have hope. Nothing else matters, not your degree, not yourself, not your life. Your soul is under fire and you are so very strong, you can run from this. Run to Jesus. You can run to us. I want you to continue to live as Jesus wants you to live, clean, sex-free, pure. We will help you, we will be here for you. We will come down to the Cities every week and we will talk. We can talk on the phone every day. We will stand together with you. We are on our knees every day for you. We are asking for God’s wisdom for us and for Him to open your eyes and to open your ears so that you can see and hear His plan for you.
Dear Mom,
Dad has spoken to me about how the reason he believes it is to be gay is that he feels the holy spirit within him opposes it (I’m struggling to paraphrase here). You do not speak for God and neither do I. Let him speak for himself on this issue and turn to the bible.
