Hi My Sweet Precious Son!
I had a conversation on email with your brother where I asked him not to encourage you if you came to him with questions but to help you see the physical dangers of this kind of life (health wise). He defended your right to choose your own life. That is true. But, I have to say that I feel that same way about my brothers and the way they are living their lives. I don’t understand my mom lecturing them or trying to get them to see how they are wrong. To me it seems like she is pushing them farther away….now I understand why my mom is hurting all the time (and why I am probably annoying you and making you want to tune me out!). She loves my brothers like we love you! I love my brothers but it doesn’t really bother me too much how they live their lives. I don’t have a mother’s love for them! I have not been a good sister to them…so know you have forced me to add them to my prayers!
I know you love your brother and admire him and I know he loves you. I know you talk to him and he talks to you and I was hoping that he might take a risk and talk to you about your risks.
Instead, your brother made me even more sad. He told me he’s not sure about Christianity and faith. He said he doesn’t have the faith that you do. Now you have to pray for Ben too.
I guess that’s what I get for trying to recruit help, more heartache. Was it dishonest of me? Maybe. I just know that he loves you so much and wants the best for you……which means he wants you to live your life like you want to. Is that what you want? Put that way, it sounds a little bit about self.
I heard another message today that the devil is a dream stealer. I liked that! Don’t let the devil steal your dreams for the future and steal your knowledge of what is right and what is wrong.
Do you have a Bible with you? Before I started writing this message, I turned to 1 Corinthians chapter 5. Will you read it? You can also read 7 too.
Also….read 1 Corinthians chapter 10 verse 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14. I think you will find comfort in them.
Just know this John….God would not make you this way and then condemn you with it…..this is a temptation that everyone faces (yes we all fantasize about being with someone of the same sex…why do you think X rated movies use it?). Please believe that. If we all followed our temptations, we would not be living for Jesus. If you ever want to hear about my temptations, please ask. I have one big one that I fight a lot…and no it’s not about another woman but it’s not one I am proud of.
Trials push us out of our comfort zone and into a battle zone where we have to decide what we stand for. If we decide that homosexuality is ok and that marriage is ok for gay people, why not broaden that to include three people? Or pets? Or Children? If we don’t stand for what is right then we fall (for everything) from God and he won’t recognize us when our time is up. If you love God, you will keep his commandments. That is not easy and Jesus coming didn’t make that obsolete.
Oops…another lecture. I go to bed praying every night and then when I wake up, I want to talk to you. As I was reading the Bible last night, I kept thinking, “Oh, if only John could read this, he would understand!” I need to remember that you can read it and it’s there for you. Try it out!
If there is a Vineyard Church (or another church that you want to attend) near you, please do to it! If you can’t get there or to any church and want to go, ask us and we will come down and take you in a second!
I will continue to fight for you, every day for as long as I live. That is my promise to you. Even if you don’t see us anymore. I will also continue to fight for your precious brothers. I can’t make you choose this way (another message I heard was that you can’t choose for people and that they can choose hell if they want to) but I will keep praying and fighting and talking to you.
Jesus said in John 15:9-10 “I’ve loved you the way by Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love. That’s what I’ve done, kept my Father’s commands and made myself at home in his love.”
You know how much your dad loves you…your Father in Heaven loves you so much more that we can’t comprehend that. If your dad is hurting, so you are hurting your Father in Heaven. Remember that. WE LOVE YOU ENOUGH NOT TO LET YOU GO!
Please try reading some stories not affirming this choice but stories about people who turned away from it. So much heartache.
Melt your heart….reading the Bible will do that for you.